When I couldn't sleep last night, at 2 o'clock in the morning, I sat up and read my old blog posts. It's funny to see that I started in 2006, when my first son was barely 3 years old. What a new mom I was; so scared of everything that entailed. I'd like to say I wrote religiously, but the posts speak for themselves. I was less than perfect about keeping up with them. I wrote when the mood struck. When my second son was born, I wrote again. Now he's three. My lack of writing is simply indicative of how busy my life has gotten. Work, church, school, sports. It seems like it never ends. A lot has been going on in my life. Suffice it to say, as I read my posts this morning, I realized how much I'd missed writing. There's something so gratifying for me to put my thoughts into story.. to just say it like it is. Whether anyone even reads it isn't important in the moment. It's just being able to say exactly how you feel in the very moment.

I've got a lot of emotion in my life right now. Oddly enough I'm having difficulty sorting it out. I've come to realize in the last couple of weeks though, how absolutely blessed I am. I have two beautiful children and a loving husband. And while our lives have included a few bumps along the way,we still manage to surface again and again. When it gets quiet, I realize how lucky I am; how many don't have what I have. I stare at my boys and get lost in them. And I try to remind myself of that when things get busy and the kids are screaming. When groceries haven't been bought, laundry hasn't been done and there's a layer of dust an inch thick on the furniture. These are the moments I live for.

An old acquaintance from high school, who has recently become a new father and is a professional photographer, will often post photos of his daughter in various stages of her life. Whether she's sitting in a basket of laundry, or covered from head to toe in bubbles- one minute jubilant and the next scowling, he seems to capture each moment perfectly in his photos. I feel as though I'm living in the moment with his child. Sharing in the moment as though I was there. For the longest time I was jealous of his ability to do that. But it occurred to me today that while I'm not the photographer he is, I can capture our moments in my words. I can bring to life event the most tense of moments and paint a picture so vivid that my reader will too, feel as though they lived it.

So, starting today, I'll be keeping journals. One for Jacob and one for James. My hope for them is that when they are grown they can open the pages and relive their childhood. As though a visitor peering through the window... And I hope I do it justice. That I tell their stories in such a way that they can feel the love and joy that even penetrated our lives even in the difficult times.

I encourage any of you with children to do the same. In this digital world, leave your children something tangible. Where they can sit, with book in hand and get lost in your words, turning page after page. Fill the pages with love. Fill the pages with memories- good and bad. Fill them with the memories that make them the adults they will become. Show them the journey that you took together. Paint the picture with your words. And remind yourself, as you write each day, how very, very blessed you are to love and be loved.