I have a letter. It's an old letter, and it's one that I haven't looked at for a very long time, but it hides in the pages of Ecclesiastes 3:1-7. It changed a man's life. Because of it, I changed a man's life.
When I first received the letter, I didn't know what to do with it. I read it, and reread it. Ultimately, when all was said and done, I put it in my desk and moved on with my life, but not before letting it persuade me to take actions against another. You want to know what the letter said, but I won't tell you. It is private. I am not trying to be cryptic, but I will simply say that it was heartfelt and tearful, and I believed it. I believed in the power that I felt when I read it and I let it define me in that moment as someone who would not tolerate an injustice against her.
As I got older, I would run across it now and again and for reasons I cannot explain, I kept it. I aged. It aged, yet that old letter still moved me. Its meaning changed for me over the years and as I got older, I realized that the power I felt at that time I first received it was misplaced. The drama of the moment led me to take actions that now seem so unnecessary. In other words, I realized that I had been wrong. I had made a decision that seemed so simple at the time, but was in fact complicated beyond even my own understanding.
So, as I got older and wiser, I decided that the old letter needed a new home. I placed it in my bible, in the book of Ecclesiastes. Here, on the pages of my old bible, it reads,
To everything there is a season, and
a time to every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born, and
a time to die;
a time to plant, and
a time to pluck up
that which is planted;
A time to kill, and
a time to heal;
a time to break down, and
a time to build up;
A time to weep, and
a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and
a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and
a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and
a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and
a time to lose;
a time to keep, and
a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and
a time to sow;
a time to keep silence, and
a time to speak;
A time to love, and
a time to hate;
a time of war; and
a time of peace.
Understand that I placed my old letter there for a reason. This was before the days of MySpace and Facebook. Before you could just IM an old "friend". In my heart I hoped that there would be a time when I would be able to face the man who never even knew that the letter existed. The man who never knew what really drove me to do the things that I did. I believed that I would have the chance to ask for forgiveness and to help heal wounds that I had dug deep. So I placed the letter there. And I waited.
It's been 13 years and I have been blessed (dare I say, blessed) by the invention of Facebook, where I have had the opportunity to speak with the man whose life I changed so many years ago. We have talked. I have cried. He has asked why? I have explained about the letter and I have given answers as best I know how. He has given forgiveness without condition.
Someday, I'll take that old letter out of my bible and put it away. For now though, I choose to leave it there, adding my own page to depict a new chapter of my life. This time the letter being written comes from me. The life that it's changed is mine.
Thank you for your forgiveness R.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Respect
Well, I've decided to write another blog that will, in all likelihood, offend at least one of you.
Let me first start by saying how happy I was to see that my last blog initiated the discussion that it did. I appreciate all of the feedback that I received from my friends. I especially appreciate those of you who responded specifically to my dilemma of how to address the topic with my 6 year old. I will say only that I took the advice given by one of you and the conversation was a good one. My son was surprisingly open to the concept presented to him, and ultimately reminded me that what is important is that Christ died for our sins so that we can live.
So, to my point of this post. While I was pleased to see what a wonderful conversation is possible on this world of Facebook, I was very disappointed to see how quickly it could turn into something laden with off topic banter and disrespect. Keep in mind that I love to learn, so I actually enjoyed the tidbits of information that, while not really helping with my situation, were none-the-less peaking my interest. I did not however, appreciate that my friends were disrespected and called insolent names for simply expressing their opinion of my situation and offering insight through other knowledge. Whether or not that knowledge was always correct, is really irrelevant. No one knows everything. To correct misinformation is a simple action. To insult someone in process of doing so is unnecessary and immature. And it is especially my opinion that to do so through a social networking tool such as Facebook, to someone you know nothing about, shows not your greater knowledge, but your ignorance.
Let me lay it out like this: I choose my "friends" on Facebook very carefully. I like to believe that all of them are either true friends or good acquaintances. In other words, I care about their feelings. I care about whether they have a good day or bad day, whether their children and families are happy and healthy and whether they believe that I treat them with respect that they deserve. Why is this important in the scheme of this blog? Simply put, while I believe that my "friends" deserve respect from me, I in turn believe that if you are writing to them or in response to them on my Facebook page, that you should treat them with that same respect. Anything else, is not only disrespectful to them, but also to me. I take it personally. It is personal. Please understand that.
Dale Carnegie once said, "Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving."
'Nuf said.
Let me first start by saying how happy I was to see that my last blog initiated the discussion that it did. I appreciate all of the feedback that I received from my friends. I especially appreciate those of you who responded specifically to my dilemma of how to address the topic with my 6 year old. I will say only that I took the advice given by one of you and the conversation was a good one. My son was surprisingly open to the concept presented to him, and ultimately reminded me that what is important is that Christ died for our sins so that we can live.
So, to my point of this post. While I was pleased to see what a wonderful conversation is possible on this world of Facebook, I was very disappointed to see how quickly it could turn into something laden with off topic banter and disrespect. Keep in mind that I love to learn, so I actually enjoyed the tidbits of information that, while not really helping with my situation, were none-the-less peaking my interest. I did not however, appreciate that my friends were disrespected and called insolent names for simply expressing their opinion of my situation and offering insight through other knowledge. Whether or not that knowledge was always correct, is really irrelevant. No one knows everything. To correct misinformation is a simple action. To insult someone in process of doing so is unnecessary and immature. And it is especially my opinion that to do so through a social networking tool such as Facebook, to someone you know nothing about, shows not your greater knowledge, but your ignorance.
Let me lay it out like this: I choose my "friends" on Facebook very carefully. I like to believe that all of them are either true friends or good acquaintances. In other words, I care about their feelings. I care about whether they have a good day or bad day, whether their children and families are happy and healthy and whether they believe that I treat them with respect that they deserve. Why is this important in the scheme of this blog? Simply put, while I believe that my "friends" deserve respect from me, I in turn believe that if you are writing to them or in response to them on my Facebook page, that you should treat them with that same respect. Anything else, is not only disrespectful to them, but also to me. I take it personally. It is personal. Please understand that.
Dale Carnegie once said, "Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving."
'Nuf said.
Friday, August 7, 2009
A Personal Perrogative
Well, now I've seen it all. Perhaps I'm making a big deal out of nothing, but I saw something today that just didn't set well with me. Maybe you've seen it. I have to warn you that not everyone will agree with my view on this. Anyway:
So there it is. I was in the Food City parking lot, running in to quickly pick up some comfort food for my youngest when I passed a Suburban with this decal posted in the middle of the rear window. I had exactly 16 minutes to make it inside, complete my purchase, run back to the car and drive to my eldest son's daycare, which is at best 10 minutes away. I took 3 minutes of that very narrow window of time to stand perfectly still, staring at this decal. I turned away, took two steps, then stepped back and just stood and stared. I guess I was making sure that it really did mean what I originally thought it meant.
Yes, no doubt. I definitely understood the message.
In the next moment I wondered if my 6 year old would have been able to read it. I believe he would. And I believe in that moment of excellence in education, my 6 year old would have been absolutely and utterly confused. "You mean Jesus had his body pierced?"
ME: Well, yes, actually.
SON: What part?
ME: What?
SON: What part?
ME: Um..
SON: I mean was his tongue pierced? Or his ears? Did he have one of those thingies in his nose?
I have taught my son, when asked why someone has a ball sticking out of their tongue, a gauge hanging through their ear, or a stud in their nose, that people make different choices in life. And that when he's older, the choice will be his. I chose to pierce my ears he would point out. Could he? Again, I teach that it is a personal choice. I explain the process one must go through to have a piercing. Understand, whether or not you believe that piercing your tongue is attractive, or whether you think a belly button ring is the sexiest thing on earth, the point remains- how in the world can you even remotely begin to compare this to putting a nail into a man's hand with the sole purpose of inflicting pain and ultimately death?
Now let me say that I fully believe in freedom of speech. I do of course believe that there are times some idiots should really shut their mouths, but I still think they have the right to spew their stupidity if they so desire. I also believe in the freedom of expressing one's religious beliefs. I, too believe that Christ died on the cross for my sins. I believe that his pain was excruciating. I have taught my son how and why this all occurred, and I have watched his anguish year after year as he takes it all in at the reenactment of the crucifixion that is so magnificently portrayed at The Living Christmas Tree. Never once have I tried to explain why Christ suffered through the pain of being nailed to a cross by comparing it to mutilating one's body with piercings.
In my mind there is simply no comparison and while I think it's fantastic to see the life of Christ alive now more than ever, I do not agree with this slogan campaign and was grateful that for this afternoon at least, I do not have to explain to my child why someone is rejoicing over Christ's "body piercing". I do not have to clarify that he doesn't have a nose ring, earrings, or ear gauges.
My husband points out that perhaps I'm missing the message or that I'm doing a poor job of expressing what really bothered me the most about this slogan. Listen, I got the point of the slogan. I just don't like having to explain to my youngster why body piercing as he knows it is being compared to the crucifixion of Christ. But then again, the decal on a Suburban, stuck to the back window, in the Food City parking lot has my family talking about the crucifixion of Christ.
Hmmm.
God works in mysterious ways.
I still don't like the decal.
So there it is. I was in the Food City parking lot, running in to quickly pick up some comfort food for my youngest when I passed a Suburban with this decal posted in the middle of the rear window. I had exactly 16 minutes to make it inside, complete my purchase, run back to the car and drive to my eldest son's daycare, which is at best 10 minutes away. I took 3 minutes of that very narrow window of time to stand perfectly still, staring at this decal. I turned away, took two steps, then stepped back and just stood and stared. I guess I was making sure that it really did mean what I originally thought it meant.
Yes, no doubt. I definitely understood the message.
In the next moment I wondered if my 6 year old would have been able to read it. I believe he would. And I believe in that moment of excellence in education, my 6 year old would have been absolutely and utterly confused. "You mean Jesus had his body pierced?"
ME: Well, yes, actually.
SON: What part?
ME: What?
SON: What part?
ME: Um..
SON: I mean was his tongue pierced? Or his ears? Did he have one of those thingies in his nose?
I have taught my son, when asked why someone has a ball sticking out of their tongue, a gauge hanging through their ear, or a stud in their nose, that people make different choices in life. And that when he's older, the choice will be his. I chose to pierce my ears he would point out. Could he? Again, I teach that it is a personal choice. I explain the process one must go through to have a piercing. Understand, whether or not you believe that piercing your tongue is attractive, or whether you think a belly button ring is the sexiest thing on earth, the point remains- how in the world can you even remotely begin to compare this to putting a nail into a man's hand with the sole purpose of inflicting pain and ultimately death?
Now let me say that I fully believe in freedom of speech. I do of course believe that there are times some idiots should really shut their mouths, but I still think they have the right to spew their stupidity if they so desire. I also believe in the freedom of expressing one's religious beliefs. I, too believe that Christ died on the cross for my sins. I believe that his pain was excruciating. I have taught my son how and why this all occurred, and I have watched his anguish year after year as he takes it all in at the reenactment of the crucifixion that is so magnificently portrayed at The Living Christmas Tree. Never once have I tried to explain why Christ suffered through the pain of being nailed to a cross by comparing it to mutilating one's body with piercings.
In my mind there is simply no comparison and while I think it's fantastic to see the life of Christ alive now more than ever, I do not agree with this slogan campaign and was grateful that for this afternoon at least, I do not have to explain to my child why someone is rejoicing over Christ's "body piercing". I do not have to clarify that he doesn't have a nose ring, earrings, or ear gauges.
My husband points out that perhaps I'm missing the message or that I'm doing a poor job of expressing what really bothered me the most about this slogan. Listen, I got the point of the slogan. I just don't like having to explain to my youngster why body piercing as he knows it is being compared to the crucifixion of Christ. But then again, the decal on a Suburban, stuck to the back window, in the Food City parking lot has my family talking about the crucifixion of Christ.
Hmmm.
God works in mysterious ways.
I still don't like the decal.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
To Cheat or Not to Cheat- That is the question!
B, Hope you don't mind that I copied my comment from your blog!
(Her blog can be found at http://www.boakyewaaglover.com/ . What you read below is my response to an "interview" that she posted where she asked one of her friends for his opinion about cheating) Men should take note!
B- I am fascinated by your blog. My first visit here, and I am moved to leave this comment: Cheating is a choice. Period. It is not something that your body does without your mind’s permission. To cheat, your mind makes a choice. It’s obvious that at this stage in his life anyway, Kweku has made that choice. Relationships take work. Constant upkeep. Women want awareness from their loved ones; notice and validation that their emotions and needs are seen and matter. Even the fact that these needs aren’t necessarily met or that their significant other doesn’t agree with them isn’t as important as that they’re recognized. When, in the rat race of today’s society, we begin to move so quickly in our lives, we fail to be aware of those people we love, we risk the loss of them. We risk that they look elsewhere for that awareness- for that one person who doesn’t take them for granted. Then, the choice is ours. It is my true belief that if you keep that awareness in your relationship or marriage and work to maintain that respect and communication, neither of you will ever want for more. Women should always remember this. It’s what each and every one of us deserve.
(Her blog can be found at http://www.boakyewaaglover.com/ . What you read below is my response to an "interview" that she posted where she asked one of her friends for his opinion about cheating) Men should take note!
B- I am fascinated by your blog. My first visit here, and I am moved to leave this comment: Cheating is a choice. Period. It is not something that your body does without your mind’s permission. To cheat, your mind makes a choice. It’s obvious that at this stage in his life anyway, Kweku has made that choice. Relationships take work. Constant upkeep. Women want awareness from their loved ones; notice and validation that their emotions and needs are seen and matter. Even the fact that these needs aren’t necessarily met or that their significant other doesn’t agree with them isn’t as important as that they’re recognized. When, in the rat race of today’s society, we begin to move so quickly in our lives, we fail to be aware of those people we love, we risk the loss of them. We risk that they look elsewhere for that awareness- for that one person who doesn’t take them for granted. Then, the choice is ours. It is my true belief that if you keep that awareness in your relationship or marriage and work to maintain that respect and communication, neither of you will ever want for more. Women should always remember this. It’s what each and every one of us deserve.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Happy Birthday, Moose
Clara Ortega once wrote, "To the outside world we all grow old. But not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other's hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time."
Today is my sister's birthday. She would be 36.
I turn 35 this summer. But in my mind, Amy is still 10 and I'm 9, and we're rollerskating down the driveway, singing the latest McDonald's jingle, laughing like there's no tomorrow.
In my mind, Amy is 13 and I am 12. Amy is playing the piano, singing alto, and I'm singing soprano. Our voices blend perfectly. We're on stage, performing at our school talent contest. We're happy. In my mind.
In my mind, Amy is 15 and I am 14. Amy is much larger than me. But we laugh. She calls me Mouse. I call her Moose. She's still beautiful. In my mind.
In my mind, time has not touched us. Amy is not really gone, and today will just be the day we always dreamed of. Today we'll be grown women, spending our days together, watching our children play. She's happy. She's beautiful. And in my mind, she always will be.
Happy Birthday, Moose. I love you.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
My Boys
Well, I simply couldn't pass up the chance to put these two pics side by side. The left is Jacob, almost 6 years ago. The right is James, 2 months ago. Aren't they beautiful?
It's amazing how far they've come in such a short time. Jacob is about to "graduate" from Kindergarten! It seems like just yesterday that I wrote the blog, scared out of my wits that he had an interview with the principal! And James is already 6 months old; I can't believe it!
Things have been so busy- Jacob started baseball season, though it feels like his heart's just not in it this year. He had a bad experience in the fall season, and I think it's scared him off a bit. Rob is also an assistant coach on the team. Even though school's not out yet, they have 2 or more games every week. Then they usually have another game on Saturday. Fun fun!
James' MRI is scheduled for next Friday. Please pray for us. I have all the confidence in the world that it will all work itself out- no matter what the doctors find, but I still have to admit that every now and then, out of the blue, I just lose myself in a bout of tears. I can't stop it.
Work has been, well, an experience all its own. I won't go into details, but let's just say it's been a rough road lately, and it really just feels like I can't get anything right. I must say, though, that our team really works well together, and I'm lucky to have the job that I do.
So, reading this, can you tell that my heart's not in my post? I really did just want to post the two pictures- I get such a kick looking at them side by side and thought that you might too. Enjoy!
As I'm signing off, the news is reporting that another local soldier has been killed in Iraq. So, I'll just take this opportunity to say thanks to those of you who serve our country every day. Thank you for keeping us and our country safe. To mothers and fathers, thank you for loaning out your loved ones so that we can all sleep a little better at night. On the Country Music Awards a few nights ago, an injured soldier said, "You don't have to support the war, just support the warrior." I couldn't agree more.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
The Beginning of the End
Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending. ~Author Unknown
Monday, March 9, 2009
A Warm Monday
Wow. It's beautiful outside. And I love it! I really don't have much at all to write about- it's a Monday. So I'll do exactly as JMS' blog title suggests and randomly ramble. (thanks for letting me borrow that, JMS!)
I spent last night, late into the night, catching up with old friends on Facebook. We all talked about (and made fun of) many of our antics of days long ago.
One friend, whom I've not seen for well over 20 years, has a 14 year old. I said, "My gosh. Are we that old?" Ha. I don't feel that old. Another friend, who I hurt every time I had the chance back in college, accepted my own apologies, but then spent forever rehashing his own stories of mistreating those he was with. He really worried about it too.
But you know what, if there's one thing I believe it's that I love my life. And if anything had changed- any one thing had been done differently in my life- I might not have any of what I do today. That means good and bad. The traumatic experiences contributed as much as, if not more to the life I have today and I wouldn't trade it for anything!
Two movies come to mind, and if you've not seen them, you should check them out. Both are based on the premise that if one thing changed, there would be a chain reaction like non other and every detail would likely change. Both are rather old: Sliding Doors and Frequency. Neither are worthy of award nominations, but they both really get you to stop and think.
Here's how I see it:
Maybe you were mean to people. Maybe you played with their emotions, maybe you just downright mistreated them. You know, they probably remember you. Chance are, they weren't scarred for life, but I bet they remember you. So take a minute to find them and apologize. You don't have to rock their world, just let them know that now, today, you remember too. And you're sorry. Not that you would change it if you could, but just that you're sorry. And I'm sure, even after all this time, they'll thank you for it.
Oh and on a side note- if you're reading this Jon, it's March. And I know it's March. And what it means to you. I just wanted you to know I remembered.
Now, on to bigger and brighter- here are a few recent pics. Just last Saturday, I took my little ones to JMS' birthday celebration for her youngest. What a time they had! Thanks for the invite!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
The Kindness of Strangers
I'm writing today because someone was kind to me. The sad thing is that I'm writing because this type of kindness is so rare that I believe it deserves to be recognized. So, humor me, and read my short little story:
I drive a Chrysler Town and Country Mini Van. I got new tires for the van not so very long ago, but I noticed recently (and by recently, I mean over the last 6 weeks) that my back left tire wasn't holding air. I mean, it wasn't going flat, but it was clearly not holding air quite like it should. So, for the past 5 weeks, about once a week, I've been driving to the local grocery/gas station, who has air for free (I know, what a novel idea, huh? Free Air) and airing my tire. Over the last week though, I've had to air my tire ever other day. And then today, the air that I had just put in last night was clearly gone by mid-day. Now, my tire looks flat. So, my husband called around and got what sounded like a good quote for a tire from a well known shop (umm... twist my arm... Firestone- where we bought the original tires). And the guy says $68. Good price, huh? Yeah. I called the guy back and asked him to specify the price of the tire after they charged to place it on my vehicle. New price- $102.00 before tax. Nice. They close at 8pm, and he advised that if I hurry over right then (5:50pm), they might be able to fit me in. The guy was pleasant, but unfazed by the fact that I was a lone woman with 2 children, who would have to sit for an unknown amount of time waiting for them to "fit me in". So, with my infant son and my 6 year old son in my car, I headed toward said care repair place, ticked that they get so much for a hmm.... tire.
On the way, I remembered a little place 2 streets from my house, where I had received excellent service many years before (and for a reasonable price). They had recently changed management, and I've not had the opportunity to experience their new service. They are a mom and pop shop, independently owned and 1/4 the size of the big shops. I pulled in their parking lot just as the clock on my radio changed from 5:59pm to 6pm. I saw that the sign on their door showed closing time to be 6pm, but the phone number was just so large on the side of the building that I decided to call and check on the price of a tire anyway- just in case I could air up and come back the next day.
The man that answered (yes, they really did answer at closing time) was very pleasant. I apologized for calling at closing time, but explained that I was in the parking lot, my tire was quite flat and that I was hoping he would quote me a new tire. Instead, with no hesitation he offered to come out to the parking lot and look at the tire. Once there, he said, "Why don't you let us just take it back real quick and take a look - just see what we can do." Of course I agreed. By then, my husband had arrived from work, and I unloaded the children into his truck. The gentlemen (and I purposefully used that term, as they were, in fact, true gentlemen) pulled my car back, having opened a bay that was closed for the day. A mechanic, who had already packed up for the day and was on his way out the door, sat on the ground and determined that there was a screw embedded in my tire. The head of the screw had long since disappeared (no doubt from weeks of my driving on it..) but he was still able (and willing) to take it out and plug it. All without complaint. All without grunting, groaning, or grimace. All for $10.
It could have been $100 for all I cared. I would have paid it. They did me a favor and never once acted like they were doing so. And when I asked for a business card, because, I said "With the service you've given me, I'd like to bring some more business your way (my hubby needs new tires)." He said, thank you ma'am. I really appreciate that." And he meant it. As though I'd done him a favor- at 6:30pm on a Wednesday night.
So, if you ever find yourself at 4724 Western Avenue in Knoxville, TN (865)558-6911, stop and say hello. Because if more people ran their businesses like Automotive Tire and Service, maybe our economy wouldn't be hurting quite as badly as it is.
I drive a Chrysler Town and Country Mini Van. I got new tires for the van not so very long ago, but I noticed recently (and by recently, I mean over the last 6 weeks) that my back left tire wasn't holding air. I mean, it wasn't going flat, but it was clearly not holding air quite like it should. So, for the past 5 weeks, about once a week, I've been driving to the local grocery/gas station, who has air for free (I know, what a novel idea, huh? Free Air) and airing my tire. Over the last week though, I've had to air my tire ever other day. And then today, the air that I had just put in last night was clearly gone by mid-day. Now, my tire looks flat. So, my husband called around and got what sounded like a good quote for a tire from a well known shop (umm... twist my arm... Firestone- where we bought the original tires). And the guy says $68. Good price, huh? Yeah. I called the guy back and asked him to specify the price of the tire after they charged to place it on my vehicle. New price- $102.00 before tax. Nice. They close at 8pm, and he advised that if I hurry over right then (5:50pm), they might be able to fit me in. The guy was pleasant, but unfazed by the fact that I was a lone woman with 2 children, who would have to sit for an unknown amount of time waiting for them to "fit me in". So, with my infant son and my 6 year old son in my car, I headed toward said care repair place, ticked that they get so much for a hmm.... tire.
On the way, I remembered a little place 2 streets from my house, where I had received excellent service many years before (and for a reasonable price). They had recently changed management, and I've not had the opportunity to experience their new service. They are a mom and pop shop, independently owned and 1/4 the size of the big shops. I pulled in their parking lot just as the clock on my radio changed from 5:59pm to 6pm. I saw that the sign on their door showed closing time to be 6pm, but the phone number was just so large on the side of the building that I decided to call and check on the price of a tire anyway- just in case I could air up and come back the next day.
The man that answered (yes, they really did answer at closing time) was very pleasant. I apologized for calling at closing time, but explained that I was in the parking lot, my tire was quite flat and that I was hoping he would quote me a new tire. Instead, with no hesitation he offered to come out to the parking lot and look at the tire. Once there, he said, "Why don't you let us just take it back real quick and take a look - just see what we can do." Of course I agreed. By then, my husband had arrived from work, and I unloaded the children into his truck. The gentlemen (and I purposefully used that term, as they were, in fact, true gentlemen) pulled my car back, having opened a bay that was closed for the day. A mechanic, who had already packed up for the day and was on his way out the door, sat on the ground and determined that there was a screw embedded in my tire. The head of the screw had long since disappeared (no doubt from weeks of my driving on it..) but he was still able (and willing) to take it out and plug it. All without complaint. All without grunting, groaning, or grimace. All for $10.
It could have been $100 for all I cared. I would have paid it. They did me a favor and never once acted like they were doing so. And when I asked for a business card, because, I said "With the service you've given me, I'd like to bring some more business your way (my hubby needs new tires)." He said, thank you ma'am. I really appreciate that." And he meant it. As though I'd done him a favor- at 6:30pm on a Wednesday night.
So, if you ever find yourself at 4724 Western Avenue in Knoxville, TN (865)558-6911, stop and say hello. Because if more people ran their businesses like Automotive Tire and Service, maybe our economy wouldn't be hurting quite as badly as it is.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
My dearest Jacob,
You turned 6 years old today. I am so proud of you, and all that you are. I'm proud of all that you're yet to be.
I remember the day you were born as though it were yesterday. Your Daddy looked at me and said, with tears in his eyes, "how is it possible to love someone so much, who we've never known at all?" How indeed. And today, as you turn yet another year older, I ask myself how it's possible to love you any more today, than I did yesterday. Yet I do. You simply fill my heart with all that is good.
Tonight we sat at your favorite restaurant and laughed. And again I thought of when you were born. I looked in your eyes then and tried to imagine you as a little boy, then, as a grown man. Tonight you looked at me with those eyes and smiled. Without a single word, you smiled and hugged me. Then you said, "Thanks, Mom."
I looked at our family, sitting at the table. There was Daddy, Little Brother James, and you.
I sighed contently and thought, "How blessed am I?"
And I just looked back at you, hugged you and said, "No, Jacob. Thank you."
So, my boy, in the years ahead, when the hustle and bustle of life has you down, I hope you can take these words and be reminded of how very much you are loved. Remember Son, that when God gave you to me, my life changed forever. I became a mom that day. Not just any mom; your mom. And that may very well have been the best day of my life.
Happy Birthday, Jacob. I love you.
You turned 6 years old today. I am so proud of you, and all that you are. I'm proud of all that you're yet to be.
I remember the day you were born as though it were yesterday. Your Daddy looked at me and said, with tears in his eyes, "how is it possible to love someone so much, who we've never known at all?" How indeed. And today, as you turn yet another year older, I ask myself how it's possible to love you any more today, than I did yesterday. Yet I do. You simply fill my heart with all that is good.
Tonight we sat at your favorite restaurant and laughed. And again I thought of when you were born. I looked in your eyes then and tried to imagine you as a little boy, then, as a grown man. Tonight you looked at me with those eyes and smiled. Without a single word, you smiled and hugged me. Then you said, "Thanks, Mom."
I looked at our family, sitting at the table. There was Daddy, Little Brother James, and you.
I sighed contently and thought, "How blessed am I?"
And I just looked back at you, hugged you and said, "No, Jacob. Thank you."
So, my boy, in the years ahead, when the hustle and bustle of life has you down, I hope you can take these words and be reminded of how very much you are loved. Remember Son, that when God gave you to me, my life changed forever. I became a mom that day. Not just any mom; your mom. And that may very well have been the best day of my life.
Happy Birthday, Jacob. I love you.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Bad choices and oversensitivity
Well.. I'm not oblivious to the fact that I've made some bad choices in my lifetime. Plain and simple. No excuses, not even any regrets really, just basic bad choices. Sometimes my choices weren't really that bad, but the ramifications from them were. When I feel as though my closest friends judge me for those decisions I've made, I go on the defensive.
Many who know me will tell you that I'm overly sensitive. And I guess, for all that makes sense in the world, that I am. But I value me as a person. I like who I am for the most part and all that I've become. So, today, when someone said that I was "f...'d up", yeah, I was more than a little upset. Yeah, I took it personally. Partly because at the time I was sharing something of mine that I consider to be somewhat private and close to me (this blog) and partly because it was just plain rude and insensitive. It was not said in a joking manner, and while I was told it should be considered sarcasm, well, I can just do without that kind of sarcasm, thank you.
Here's what it all comes down to, and I'm realizing it just as I type. Trust me. Trust in me. Trust in my common sense. Trust in my choices. And don't judge me. I get a little sensitive when you do that.
Many who know me will tell you that I'm overly sensitive. And I guess, for all that makes sense in the world, that I am. But I value me as a person. I like who I am for the most part and all that I've become. So, today, when someone said that I was "f...'d up", yeah, I was more than a little upset. Yeah, I took it personally. Partly because at the time I was sharing something of mine that I consider to be somewhat private and close to me (this blog) and partly because it was just plain rude and insensitive. It was not said in a joking manner, and while I was told it should be considered sarcasm, well, I can just do without that kind of sarcasm, thank you.
Here's what it all comes down to, and I'm realizing it just as I type. Trust me. Trust in me. Trust in my common sense. Trust in my choices. And don't judge me. I get a little sensitive when you do that.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Rain
It's raining outside. Again. Don't get me wrong; there's nothing wrong with rain. I'm just tired of the rain. It's the end of January and I just want a fabulous snow!
Just today, I was telling an old friend of mine how much I miss the snow in New Hampshire. I lived there for 15 years, and I swear I think they cancelled school fewer times than I can count on both hands. Really. Now, I won't go into how frustrating it is here in Tennessee that as soon as the weatherman hints at snow or ice, the schools are cancelled. Really. No Joke. The schools are cancelled (sometimes the night before) and the grocery stores are wiped clean of bottled water, bread and milk. I've never seen anything like it before. But I won't go into that. It really stinks though, I'll tell you. When we lived in New Hampshire, there could be a whiteout, a nor' east er, whatever, and we still stood on the corner and waited for the school bus. All without a coat or hat on because it wasn't cool to wear a hat or coat in sub degree weather. So we didn't.
Ahh... those were the days.
I remember in college- as soon as it turned 49.5 degrees everyone on campus donned their shorts. Darn! It was warm, right? Now, here in Tennessee, they actually cancel schools because it's too cold. Oops. I'm not going into that. But they do! But I'm not going into that.
So back to my original point. I miss the snow. I miss the excitement and mind numbing adrenaline rush that comes with driving the back roads of Amherst, NH, knowing that just below the 2 inches of white covered road, lies a thich sheet of ice. I miss pulling huge icecicles off the sides of buildings (no offense to the woman who just got hit by one in Massachusettes). I miss watching little dogs disappear into the front yard that no longer exsists, only to become one with the foot of snow that is now covering them. And I miss the peace. Yes, I said peace. I miss going out, in the small town that wasn't a city, where it was quiet even if you had neighbors, and just watching the snow fall and listening to the silence. The cold crisp silence.
I can't do that here.
But I won't go into that.
Just today, I was telling an old friend of mine how much I miss the snow in New Hampshire. I lived there for 15 years, and I swear I think they cancelled school fewer times than I can count on both hands. Really. Now, I won't go into how frustrating it is here in Tennessee that as soon as the weatherman hints at snow or ice, the schools are cancelled. Really. No Joke. The schools are cancelled (sometimes the night before) and the grocery stores are wiped clean of bottled water, bread and milk. I've never seen anything like it before. But I won't go into that. It really stinks though, I'll tell you. When we lived in New Hampshire, there could be a whiteout, a nor' east er, whatever, and we still stood on the corner and waited for the school bus. All without a coat or hat on because it wasn't cool to wear a hat or coat in sub degree weather. So we didn't.
Ahh... those were the days.
I remember in college- as soon as it turned 49.5 degrees everyone on campus donned their shorts. Darn! It was warm, right? Now, here in Tennessee, they actually cancel schools because it's too cold. Oops. I'm not going into that. But they do! But I'm not going into that.
So back to my original point. I miss the snow. I miss the excitement and mind numbing adrenaline rush that comes with driving the back roads of Amherst, NH, knowing that just below the 2 inches of white covered road, lies a thich sheet of ice. I miss pulling huge icecicles off the sides of buildings (no offense to the woman who just got hit by one in Massachusettes). I miss watching little dogs disappear into the front yard that no longer exsists, only to become one with the foot of snow that is now covering them. And I miss the peace. Yes, I said peace. I miss going out, in the small town that wasn't a city, where it was quiet even if you had neighbors, and just watching the snow fall and listening to the silence. The cold crisp silence.
I can't do that here.
But I won't go into that.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Sick Babies
Ok. I can't believe I'm about to do this, but I'm going to write a blog about why it's such a pain that my child looks like this. Yup. That's right. Complaining about my happy child. See the picture? That's James- on RSV. My sick child. This is what he looks like.
It was the same for my older Son. Happy as can be. This photo was taken the morning after we took a trip to the ER because his RSV was so bad. Part of me wants to thank God that I'm so blessed to have truly happy children. The other part of me just wishes that every once in a while, they would act like they're sick when they're sick. Why? Why in the world could I wish such a thing you ask? Well, first, because when they really are sick, I frequently have no idea. Really. I've always assumed that if my child is a limp noodle and has a fever, he's sick. And along the same lines, if they look like the above photo, they're happy and healthy. Wrong. My oldest son had frequent severe ear infections, and never once had a fever or cried from the pain of it. It was by chance that I found them out!
So, here I am with my sick baby laughing and smiling. Lucky aren't I? Well, sure, except that I can't get him to settle down and rest in a way I think it critical to his recuperation. Just last night, at 11pm, he had no interest in sleeping, and instead, lay with me on my bed, laughing and playing with us. At that moment, I started to stop and complain about how tired I was and how I wish he'd just settle down and rest. He needs his rest. Then he smiled at me, just like he did in this photo, only at me and the world stopped for a moment and it didn't matter that it was 11. It didn't matter that he was sick. At that moment, all he was- was mine. And me? I stopped complaining and thanked God for my little bundle of joy.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Really, God?
OK. Now I'm not one who questions God. If you don't already know that about me, you should. I just don't question him or his motives. I just accept. Period. But today, I looked toward the heavens and asked, "Really, God? Are we really doing this today? Really?"
James has RSV.
Yes.
Really.
So, after receiving the fabulous diagnosis, I walked out of the doctor's office and took a deep breath. I must say though, that I believe my older son was the test run. He too had RSV at about this age. While I didn't quite panic back then, I was still nervous and anxious about what the diagnosis would mean. Luckily because I'm anal retentive and think that for the $15 co-pay, I should take my kids to see the doctor if anything seems off, neither of them needed the breathing treatments or hospitalization. With James though, because I had said practice run, I'm much more calm and comfortable.
Oh.
I see.
RSV huh?
Well, that's nice.
Okee Dokee.. yes well, you have a nice day too.
(I'm sure the doctor either thinks that I am absolutely out of my mind or that I'm just some awful, terrible mother who doesn't give two hoots about my son. Neither of which is actually the case. OK. Well, I'm not a terrible mother anyway...)
I would be remiss if I didn't mention that my friend, JMS and I were at work this morning (prior to James' appointment) and she handed me her Ipod. She had recorded (hmm.. is that the correct terminology or am I dating myself?) a song by Depeche Mode. It's called Blasphemous Rumors and the line in it says:
"I don't want to start any blasphemous rumours but I think that God's got a sick sense of humor and when I die I expect to find Him laughing" Now, mind you, I don't really think that God's up there laughing at my misfortune, but one cannot ignore the irony of the moment.
One last bit of irony- because of the RSV, I have to wait a week before I can lay Little Bit on his tummy to sleep. He'll be exactly 4 months old. Hmph. Maybe this is just God's way of giving me a week to get used to the idea! Hehe.. See, who's laughing now?
James has RSV.
Yes.
Really.
So, after receiving the fabulous diagnosis, I walked out of the doctor's office and took a deep breath. I must say though, that I believe my older son was the test run. He too had RSV at about this age. While I didn't quite panic back then, I was still nervous and anxious about what the diagnosis would mean. Luckily because I'm anal retentive and think that for the $15 co-pay, I should take my kids to see the doctor if anything seems off, neither of them needed the breathing treatments or hospitalization. With James though, because I had said practice run, I'm much more calm and comfortable.
Oh.
I see.
RSV huh?
Well, that's nice.
Okee Dokee.. yes well, you have a nice day too.
(I'm sure the doctor either thinks that I am absolutely out of my mind or that I'm just some awful, terrible mother who doesn't give two hoots about my son. Neither of which is actually the case. OK. Well, I'm not a terrible mother anyway...)
I would be remiss if I didn't mention that my friend, JMS and I were at work this morning (prior to James' appointment) and she handed me her Ipod. She had recorded (hmm.. is that the correct terminology or am I dating myself?) a song by Depeche Mode. It's called Blasphemous Rumors and the line in it says:
"I don't want to start any blasphemous rumours but I think that God's got a sick sense of humor and when I die I expect to find Him laughing" Now, mind you, I don't really think that God's up there laughing at my misfortune, but one cannot ignore the irony of the moment.
One last bit of irony- because of the RSV, I have to wait a week before I can lay Little Bit on his tummy to sleep. He'll be exactly 4 months old. Hmph. Maybe this is just God's way of giving me a week to get used to the idea! Hehe.. See, who's laughing now?
Saturday, January 17, 2009
JMS, Babies, and my addiction to Facebook
Ok. Well, once again I'm posting because one of my best friends, JMS, prodded me. In reality, she's just nagged me enough to where I feel guilty for not posting since October. So as always, for you JMS, I post!
First, I must say that I love being a mom. Plain and simple. I always knew I wanted to have children, but that was just it. I wanted to have children. I never said, "ahh.. I really want to be a mom when I grow up." But as much as I love having children, I absolutely love being a mom. (Did I already say that?) And you know what, I think I'm a pretty good mom. And I'm a better mom just because my husband is such a good dad. Together our kids are loved. They are happy. They are beautiful. Oh and they're alive. We've kept them alive! Yeah!!! Sorry.. Seriously, I cannot imagine my life without my family, and I thank God every day for it.
Now, one to my newest past time: Facebook. I have to start last year, when I first signed up to My Space. I thought it was wonderful that I could hook up with old friends. And it was. But there weren't many there. Then, a few months ago, I got this idea to try Facebook. It's kind of like HD television and DVR. I wonder how in the world I ever lived without it. As much as I'd like to say I'm joking, I'm sort of not. My husband has now accepted the fact that I'm addicted to it, and that on occasion, I might look up from the computer to pay him some attention! (NO, not really!) I have a few points to make related to my FB addiction, so bear with me- this may be a long post. (You asked for it JMS!)
I couldn't believe it when I first signed on and there were so many names from the past there! I now have over 100 "friends". Some (less than 10) are from my now life. People I see and talk to every day. The rest are people that knew from way back when. A portion of them are from my previous years in New Hampshire. Some are from nearly 20 years ago, when I lived in Ohio. Truly, I've not seen or talked to these people in 20 years. I have to admit that my feelings about some of these "friends" are mixed. Several of the friends are people who I hung with when we were kids and just lost touch with as we grew older. Others were not. Honestly put, some of these people were just plain mean to me 20 years ago. (yes, you know who you are.) And now, they "talk" to me as though those days never existed. As though they never made fun of me. As though they never told me to get lost, pulled my hair or called me names. I remember it all. Part of me is just fascinated to see how much these people have changed. To see that, for the most part, we are now all on a level playing field. And sometimes I think that I'm just sickly attracted to the idea that they don't make fun of me any more. Either way, I'm a grown adult who thinks that there's good in all of us. Even the ones who were mean to me when we were children. And I've also grown to believe that we lose too many loved ones in our lives; life is too short not to try and make new friends when we can.
So on to my second point. If you know me well enough to read this, then you probably know that my 3 month old is going through some medical issues. For reasons unknown to me, I felt very comfortable posting information regarding Little Bit's situation on Facebook. I have been overwhelmed by the response. It has been amazing. When my children were born, my husband and I asked how is it possible to love someone so much who we don't yet know? I feel similar with regard to my Facebook "friends". They may not know me anymore, but that hasn't stopped them from being so very supportive. I have received emails and posts from so many of them- even those who weren't nice to me back then. It's given me such hope for things. I mean, really, these people don't know me. But they care. I feel that. They really do care. They have put me and my child in their prayers. Those who know me today know how I feel- "everything happens for a reason." If nothing else, I believe that Facebook has brought me to a place where I can settle with my past and find extra strength for my future.
So if you're reading this, and you're one of the many who have shown me this kind support- thank you.
Thanks for being my "friend".
First, I must say that I love being a mom. Plain and simple. I always knew I wanted to have children, but that was just it. I wanted to have children. I never said, "ahh.. I really want to be a mom when I grow up." But as much as I love having children, I absolutely love being a mom. (Did I already say that?) And you know what, I think I'm a pretty good mom. And I'm a better mom just because my husband is such a good dad. Together our kids are loved. They are happy. They are beautiful. Oh and they're alive. We've kept them alive! Yeah!!! Sorry.. Seriously, I cannot imagine my life without my family, and I thank God every day for it.
Now, one to my newest past time: Facebook. I have to start last year, when I first signed up to My Space. I thought it was wonderful that I could hook up with old friends. And it was. But there weren't many there. Then, a few months ago, I got this idea to try Facebook. It's kind of like HD television and DVR. I wonder how in the world I ever lived without it. As much as I'd like to say I'm joking, I'm sort of not. My husband has now accepted the fact that I'm addicted to it, and that on occasion, I might look up from the computer to pay him some attention! (NO, not really!) I have a few points to make related to my FB addiction, so bear with me- this may be a long post. (You asked for it JMS!)
I couldn't believe it when I first signed on and there were so many names from the past there! I now have over 100 "friends". Some (less than 10) are from my now life. People I see and talk to every day. The rest are people that knew from way back when. A portion of them are from my previous years in New Hampshire. Some are from nearly 20 years ago, when I lived in Ohio. Truly, I've not seen or talked to these people in 20 years. I have to admit that my feelings about some of these "friends" are mixed. Several of the friends are people who I hung with when we were kids and just lost touch with as we grew older. Others were not. Honestly put, some of these people were just plain mean to me 20 years ago. (yes, you know who you are.) And now, they "talk" to me as though those days never existed. As though they never made fun of me. As though they never told me to get lost, pulled my hair or called me names. I remember it all. Part of me is just fascinated to see how much these people have changed. To see that, for the most part, we are now all on a level playing field. And sometimes I think that I'm just sickly attracted to the idea that they don't make fun of me any more. Either way, I'm a grown adult who thinks that there's good in all of us. Even the ones who were mean to me when we were children. And I've also grown to believe that we lose too many loved ones in our lives; life is too short not to try and make new friends when we can.
So on to my second point. If you know me well enough to read this, then you probably know that my 3 month old is going through some medical issues. For reasons unknown to me, I felt very comfortable posting information regarding Little Bit's situation on Facebook. I have been overwhelmed by the response. It has been amazing. When my children were born, my husband and I asked how is it possible to love someone so much who we don't yet know? I feel similar with regard to my Facebook "friends". They may not know me anymore, but that hasn't stopped them from being so very supportive. I have received emails and posts from so many of them- even those who weren't nice to me back then. It's given me such hope for things. I mean, really, these people don't know me. But they care. I feel that. They really do care. They have put me and my child in their prayers. Those who know me today know how I feel- "everything happens for a reason." If nothing else, I believe that Facebook has brought me to a place where I can settle with my past and find extra strength for my future.
So if you're reading this, and you're one of the many who have shown me this kind support- thank you.
Thanks for being my "friend".
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