Thursday, January 24, 2008

Walker Texas Ranger

So, right now, I'm sitting in my parent's living room, watching my father's all-time favorite he man show. You guessed it- Walker, Texas Ranger. Wow. He's just so sexy. Um no, no. No, he's really not. There's nothing sexy about that. Not even the massive belt buckle and the days before botox could make that man sexy. This particular episode has the Ranger in a coma and therefor incapacitated, so they're spending the entire episode looking back on all the spectacular saves that said he man accomplished. Right now he's back 20 years and kung fooing 10 villains all at once, while all of the police officers watch in utter amazement. Fade in the sewer fog. Yes, I said sewer fog. He sticks his chest out, grabs hold of his belt buckle and walks away through the sewer fog. Now, that's sexy. I mean radiating hot, stinky (thanks to the sewer fog) sexiness.

Oh my God. Until I saw this, I actually thought that the Hallmark channel, with all of it's mushy mushy movies was amongst my favorites. Hmmm... not so much. There's something about a 120 lb man wearing a hat that's bigger than he is that just turns me off. Yet, I continue to look up from typing this post, just on the off chance that I might miss something. OH MY GOD... he man just kissed a lady. eeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww all the romance of a snail sliding across the sidewalk.

No seriously, I'm just kidding. (not really, but it's the only bridge I could think of to progress into some other, less stimulating conversation.) OH MY... you guessed it!! although this time my OMG is thanks to the woman that just walked into the picture with a hairdo bigger than any of the cowboy hats! And bigger even still was the cellphone that the bad guy was using to call.. oh, I don't know, maybe the hairstylist.

My dad, to whom I am reading this post aloud, is taking it personally that I am making fun of Walker Texas Ranger. He quickly reminds me that my hair used to be that big too. Did he really send me to college so that I could make fun of Walker? My husband, quick to suck up whenever the opportunity presents itself, concurs that I should not make fun of the fuzzy faced ranger. So Mr. Ranger, I am sorry for making fun of you. You really are the only man I know that can kung fu an entire room of big burly men and not even blink!

Seriously though Ranger, lay off the botox!