Just Another Day

Every year on my birthday I say how it's just another day, then I squeal in delight when the next person wishes me felicitations. This morning I awoke to a wall full of well wishes from friends I haven't seen in years (yes, I really did check FB first thing this morning!), but I can honestly say that each one made me stop, smile, recall a memory with them, and appreciate that they took a moment out of their day to wish me well. At work, my colleagues offered cards and cake and even garnished my workspace with balloons. My oldest son, who is visiting my parents, called to wish me a happy day. My husband and I shared our favorite Chinese dinner together (even though all of the fortune cookies were clearly meant for him!) It has all been so extraordinary and has meant more this year than any other.

So, back to my original point- "just another day". Now, I love birthdays. I think that there should be celebration and lots of excess. But I've never (well, not as an adult anyway) really gotten caught up in the age game. I am the age I am, and it's .. well.. just another day.

Until this year.

This year, I am a year older.

This year, I have learned for 365 days.

This year, I've been a daughter, wife, mom and friend to those I love for 52 weeks.

And this year, I have, once again, taken it all for granted.

As many of you know, I am currently undergoing tests to determine whether or not I have lymphoma. I am waiting for the results of those tests as we speak.

Lymphoma...

I keep saying it over and over as though to become comfortable with the word will help me come closer to a possible reality.

Lymphoma.

While I know that confirmation of this illness is not a death sentence, I am still frightened by the what-ifs. (bear with me.. there really is a point to all of this.)

What if it is lymphoma?

More importantly, what if it's not?

Will I sigh after receiving the news?

Will I tell the nurse 'thank you' and just turn back to the monitor, where I spend 8 hours every day and simply move on with relief?

Or will I stop what I'm doing and say a prayer, thanking God for all that I have. Will I remember what I learned during this brief moment of fear?

To trust in the Lord more.

To love with more passion.

To work harder.

To be a better friend to those who have invested so much in me.

To hold my husband and children every day- remembering that there is no promise of tomorrow.

No.

This year, my 36th year on this Earth, I will not take it for granted.

Because it is not just another day.

It is my day and I have cherished every moment!